Today, I had planned to give my students some "Listening to God" time during our Prayer/Worship section of the day. I enjoy this time as much as they do; God never fails to lift my spirits as I listen to the worship music. He also always comes through and speaks to me in some way.
I always talk to my students first about how God is our friend. I ask them if they like hanging out with a friend who talks talks talks and never lets them say anything. They respond "no" and I tell them God is the same way. He LOVES them so much and it brings Him so much joy to hear their voices, but he likes to talk to us too, so we need to make sure we allow time and space for Him to speak to us.
As I was preparing for this session today, I took a quick trip to the office to inquire from our sweet records-keeper who keeps track of next year's enrollment. She is always so wonderful about letting me know when we have more sign ups for the coming year, as my Kindergarten position is dependent on if we have enough for two classes, (approximately 32 students). Last week, she had told me we were at 24, which is enough to fill one class and start a waiting list.
This morning, my boss was telling us about enrollment for next year. I asked her if any of the grades had enough for two classes yet. She said we were close, but not yet and gave me the numbers for two of the grades. She said kindergarten only had 20 or 21. I went to the office this afternoon to check on those numbers. The records-keeper said that we had 21. I think what happened was I had added on the 3 students that enrolled last week to the 21 she had told me, when actually those three had already been included. I walked out of the office feeling discouraged.
It was a short walk to my classroom, where we were about to have our Listening to God time. In the middle of the busy playground I was crossing, God spoke. He said, "Do not be anxious about anything, but with prayer and petition, present your requests." I loved sharing that with my students--that God loves speaking to us, that He'll talk to us anywhere, even in the middle of the playground.
Instead of continuing in my feelings of discouragement, (and yes, even anxiety at the thought of the busyness that would come while teaching a new grade when next year I really wanted to focus managing my time as a new wife--keeping house and caring for my husband), I chose to stop that course, allow God's peace to flow through my spirit, and present my request to Him.
"God, I really want to teach kindergarten next year. You've blessed me so much by showing me a grade that I thrive in as a teacher. You've given me a soon-to-be husband whom I love with every ounce that is in me. You know how much I want to be a wonderful wife for him--to make our home happy and healthy. You also know how much I throw myself into the tasks you have given me. I confess being worried about having too much to do at work if I switch grades and have to start from scratch. Please bring enough kindergartners for next year, so that I can stay with the age group I love and have the time to be the kind of wife I want to be. Thank you for knowing my heart and knowing what's best for me. Amen."
I love when my students come share with me what God said to them too: "This is God saying, 'You are precious to me.'" "This is God telling me not to worry about what I'm scared of." "I was sitting under the table listening to the music, and I felt God hold my hand under the table."