With the busyness of life and my focus turned to other things, it's been a very long time since I've written a song--two years actually! Typically my songs are written when I'm overwhelmed by a specific feeling and words or text is just not enough to release everything going on inside of me. That was the case with this song and is what brought me back to dust off my song writing journal. The story behind the song:
Back in December, my parents got into an awful car accident when my dad passed out while driving and had to get life flighted to a trauma center. Without going into a ton of detail, it was very traumatic and difficult to return home afterwards--coping with the anxiety and sleepless nights that we often spent reenacting the memory of it. I felt very stuck over the next few weeks in wanting to be there to help my parents heal, but also not feeling like I had anyone to go to when I needed to vent or detox from all the awful things I was dealing with having experienced that with them. It was at a time in my life that several of my closest friends had just gotten married or moved away, and there weren't many people around that I felt I could just sit and cry with. God certainly helped me make it through and my time spent praying to Him were critical in helping me recover.
I thought I had dealt with everything until it all reached its height during parent teacher conferences on February 23rd, when I got the news that my dad needed a pacemaker put in and was going into emergency surgery right away. (This happened about a month and a half after the accident and after several tests and doctor's visits to figure out what had gone wrong and caused the accident.) Pacemakers are nothing alarming these days, but it was just one thing to tip me over. I couldn't handle the overwhelming feelings and my prayers to God couldn't effectively express what I needed.
So God gave me a song to write.
One thing I love about the songs God gives me is that the lyrics always seem to go in a different direction than I anticipated. You'll notice in the verses it talks about the difficulties and struggles I faced during this time, the pre-chorus includes my response to the Lord when I had those struggles, and the chorus turns into what God did with it--He gave me peace by letting me know the things I was facing wouldn't last forever. I would be able to wipe away my tears, hold my head up high, and praise His name for getting me through as He lifted me up in freedom from my burdens. The bridge confirmed those things with a promise to never leave me, that He was still in charge and leading the way, and I didn't have to give up hope. It was such a powerful finish and gave me the closure I needed to heal and move past what I was facing.
And of course, God kept His word. My tears didn't last forever. Life has gotten back to normal. Both of my parents are alive and well, and my home has returned to a peaceful, comforting place instead of one filled with anxiety and fearful memories.
"There Will Be a Day"
Verse 1 The pain, the hurt, and all these tears Come flooding like the rain. Turn my back--I can't face these fears. I just want to get away
Pre-Chorus I cry out to You Wanna fight not hear You But Your voice calls back to me
Chorus "There will be a day All this will fade away Your tears will soon be dry. You will rise and say, 'Holy is Your name!' You'll spread your wings and fly."
Verse 2 I look around and feel so alone-- Not a friend nearby. Can't bear to just pick up the phone When I hurt so much inside.
Bridge So don't lose hope in your dreams. Stay near to Me and I'll lead. I will never leave your side.