I've been recently faced with some saddening situations, mostly among my 5th graders, which makes it even more devastating. Talk of committing suicide, cutting themselves, and getting high. Seeing the hurt, the neediness, and the brokenness of these young people just wrenches my heart. I've been praying about it tonight and am wrestling with this free will concept. I believe that God wants to be Lord of our lives and He will break us in all the ways we need to be broken in order to turn to Him to rescue us when we're finally done struggling to be in control. But, what if the struggles are so much to bear that someone chooses to give up and end their life instead of taking the God option? God knows everything, so He knows that's what's going to happen. If He knows that the struggles He's giving us will cause us to do such a thing, then why doesn't he ease up a little? Not altogether, because we still need to be broken. If someone kills themself, then there's no ability to change the heart of the person towards Him.
I fear for these young ones. I fear of the drastic measures they may take when they can't seem to face it anymore. In a place where I am not allowed to talk about the love God has for them that far surpasses any lack of love they receive from their broken families, I am feeling utterly helpless. I want to wrap my arms around these 10 year olds and hold so tight they can sense what God does to them when they are hurting if they could only realize He's there and stop trying to gain acceptance in other places.
What are your thoughts on this free will idea? Is God pushing too much? He certainly pushed Job, but when Job questioned Him, God stepped in and told him about all the great things He did--causing Job to tremble and shut his mouth from further complaints. Am I just complaining, or is this a valid question?